//
you're reading...
Uncategorized

MARK CUBAN ON HIS TRADE OF MAVS FOR MAGIC BEANS, “[EXPLETIVE] BEST [EXPLETIVE] DECISION I EVER [EXPLETIVE] MADE. [EXPLETIVE]!”

Cuban stands proud of his new ownership.

Mark Cuban held at a last minute press conference at the Dallas Convention Center on Wednesday morning to announce the end of his tenure as owner of the Dallas Mavericks in exchange for what Cuban calls ‘Magic Beans’.

Cuban said, “So I’m walking down the street, right? …and this homeless guy, well he looked homeless but I guess he was some sort of wizard, he had a big [expletive] beard and looked all crazy. Anyway he asks me if I want these magic beans and I’m like ‘[expletive] yes, I want those [expletive] beans!’ Long story short, that guy owns the Mavericks now.”

When asked how he was sure the beans truly held powers beyond concepts of reality, Cuban became noticeably agitated. “What the [expletive] did you say?”, the outraged billionaire screamed into the microphone he had torn from the lectern. “They just are! You think I’m some kind of [expletive] idiot!?! I know magic [expletive] beans when I [expletive] see them!”

Cuban then excused himself for a minute to slow his breathing. He placed Visine drops in his eyes and finished off his third can of Rockstar.

After further questions pertaining to the nature of the enchanted pods, the outspoken lover of magi slowly backed away from the podium. His face was visibly red before shouting, “THEY PROBABLY GROW A HUGE [EXPLETIVE] STEM THAT LEADS TO A CLOUD CITY! OR MAYBE THEY BEAR FRUIT THAT PROVIDES ETERNAL YOUTH! I GUESS WE’LL FIND OUT AFTER I PLANT THE [EXPETIVE] [EXPLETIVE] THINGS, WON’T WE!?!”

Cuban ended the Q&A by laughing maniacally as he ran from the room, ensuring all in attendance they would regret questioning his judgment. In a follow up forum, members of the media questioned the new owner of the Dallas based basketball team on the stage scenario unfolding before them. Unfortunately the man known only as “Barlow” merely held a dead raccoon above his head and muttered incoherent sounds while defecating his trousers.

About these ads

Discussion

One thought on “MARK CUBAN ON HIS TRADE OF MAVS FOR MAGIC BEANS, “[EXPLETIVE] BEST [EXPLETIVE] DECISION I EVER [EXPLETIVE] MADE. [EXPLETIVE]!”

  1. “Cuban said, “So I’m walking down the street, right? …and this homeless guy, well he looked homeless but I guess he was some sort of wizard, he had a big [expletive] beard and looked all crazy. Anyway he asks me if I want these magic beans and I’m like ‘[expletive] yes, I want those [expletive] beans!’ Long story short, that guy owns the Mavericks now”

    Hilarious dude!

    Posted by Nate-Dogg | May 24, 2011, 2:02 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Subscribe to Milk the Bull

Join 842 other followers

Milk the Bull Chooses Third World as #1 in Funny Shirts!

IN THE NEWS

No B.S.

All photos and content used by Milk the Bull meet all legal and copyright approval. All characters, stories and situations on this editorial/satire site, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional.
%d bloggers like this: