Gay pride protestor reluctantly dances with parade exhibitionist
INDIANAPOLIS, IN — What started as a hate filled display of protest against the LGBT, or lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community; ended in what witnesses described as an “aggressive jumble of nude lunatics.”
“I don’t know what happened,” explained Chris Jefferson of Trinity Christian Church, “One minute I’m screaming at the top of my lungs about how much god hates all those disgusting perverts and the next thing I know I’ve got my tongue down Jerry’s throat.”
Participants in the morning’s parade were just as confused as the fornicating protestors. “It was weird,” said lifelong homosexual Davey Sifleck, “One guy even split from the pile and ran at us with his thing in his hand yelling, ‘You wanna suck this, queer?’ ”
Not all of the protestors took part of the spiteful more some. Some chose simply to watch while pleasuring themselves. One anonymous voyeur claimed, “I’m no faggot. I’d never touch another man but I ain’t made of stone. That was a pretty sex mess going on.”
It is unclear whether or not the day’s events have changed the mindset of the angry anti-gay demonstrators. Chris Jefferson doesn’t think he will change. “Nah, I sucked a bunch of dicks in college. I’ll just act like nothing happened…wait, are you going to print this?”
The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), issued a statement immediately following the event stating that “the homosexual community in no way endorses any of the lewd homosexual acts carried out by the protestors of gay pride week.”
Well, at least they wore their hardhats.
Posted by Danny Shook | July 15, 2011, 7:35 pm