“She drags me out here like a prop, and then the other 5th graders make fun of me because she thinks that Paul Revere warned the British. Of course I’m going to be upset,” said 10-year old Piper Palin, daughter of resigned Alaskan governor, Sarah Palin, as they were on their American tour.
“Just the other day she said she loves Martin Luther King Jr. because she thinks he’s an actual king,” said Piper, “Remember that game-show, ‘Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader’? We have the board game at home…she never gets past the first round. And when she loses she blames the media for it.”
Sarah’s husband, Todd Palin then calmed Piper down and explained, “I know your mother isn’t the brightest cookie in the box, but believe it or not, she was kind of hot when I first married her. We have to find ways to cope…like with substitute mommies. That’s why daddy hangs out with these other pretty women when mommy isn’t around.”
When reporters asked Sarah how she is enjoying her trip she said, “Nice try Merlin the Magician, you aren’t going to trap me with that question. Let’s just say that I’m happy to be touring this great nation. And I’m just as grateful that America’s own, J.J. Abrams invented cars, buses and other transforming vehicles for me to tour in.”
Reports then asked Piper Palin if Sarah was on the tour for an actual run at presidency or if it was another cheap media ploy, Piper responded, “Mom told me that she feels comfortable touring on buses because it reminds her of her Def Leppard days, and KISS days and then she named about 12 other bands. I can’t believe she really [explicit]-ed that many people. Not to mention the Republican Party”All photos and content used by Milk the Bull meet all legal and copyright approval. All characters, stories, itemas and situations on this site, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional.