you're reading...


Crowds gather to hear Christ speak, and partake of the free breakfast at Holiday Inn.

In an unexpected press conference at the Philadelphia Holiday Inn, Jesus Christ of Nazareth issued a public apology to Harold Camping, the doomsday preacher who predicted the rapture to take place last Saturday.

“It was my fault, I’m sorry” said Christ as he raises his Ipad, “as you can see here, it’s clearly marked on my calendar. I was so busy helping the Dallas Mavericks win their playoff game that I just plain forgot.” He then showed the audience the stains on his robe from the night before when he turned water into Gatorade.

When asked about how this affects his relationship with Camping, Christ replied, “Well, I hope he can forgive me. He must be in a lot of pain to have taken millions of dollars from the people who trusted him that the rapture would occur on Saturday.”

Reporters questioned on how this will look on Christianity and Christ replied, “You just have to have faith. I have a great track record. I know Buddha looks really appealing right now, but that dude just eats a lot and is probably pretty high all the time. Seriously, who smiles that often? That’s a case of the munchies if I’ve ever seen one.”

Christ’s speech was interrupted by doomsday preacher Camping who approached the stage and accepted Christ’s apology. Christ appeared emotional and excused himself from the room. Camping then took the stand to speak to reporters. He spoke for an hour about religion, tithing at least 38%, and trading in gold for cash. Once reports grew restless, they started asking when Jesus would be back to relieve him from the stand. Camping responded, “He should be back any second now.”




  1. Very nice webpage

    Posted by Berta Barbini | May 29, 2011, 6:19 am
  2. what dis world coming to eh!

    Posted by sugamama | June 8, 2011, 11:22 am
  3. May cat was raptured on May 21, 2011. See the video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mde5roRxP7E

    Posted by sfharry | October 16, 2011, 11:16 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Subscribe to Milk the Bull

Join 1,007 other followers

Milk the Bull Chooses Third World as #1 in Funny Shirts!


No B.S.

All photos and content used by Milk the Bull meet all legal and copyright approval. All characters, stories and situations on this editorial/satire site, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional.
%d bloggers like this: