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“I was on my morning jog and well, the next thing you know there are a few dozen homosexuals laying dead on the ground,” said presidential hopeful Rick Perry as fellow Texans calmly clean up the bodies, “I guess my gun’s safety slipped while I was jogging.”

When reporters asked if he believed in better gun safety laws Perry said, “It’s a sad day for me when a few dozen sinners accidentally die by a random act of God, but it would be un-American to go against the second amendment which states that every American should carry a gun…or something like that.”

Perry also mentioned that his gun’s name is engraved “Random Act of God” on the side of the barrel.

“Most people think I hate gays, but actually I’m trying to protect them from gun violence,” said Perry “My new legislation will require that homo’s and other queers wear bright pink bullet-proof vests that are clearly marked in big bold letters on the front “Homosexual” or “Cum-sucker” so that people with guns will see them from a long distance and try not to fill their HIV-ridden bodies full of bullets. Of course this does not protect from head shots, but what are you going to do?”

“Secondly we have to get homosexuals as far away from guns as possible, so I would require that the homo’s live at least ten miles from any gun. So if someone happened to own a gun in downtown Dallas, then the homo’
s wouldn’t be allowed to live or bring their sin into that area. I’m sure they can migrate to San Francisco or some other area where Lady Gaga is popular.”

“And finally we will criminalize any incident if a gay is shot. Any faggot, oops…I’m sorry, that wasn’t very Christian-like of me. Any fag, that jumps in front of a bullet will do harsh jail time. We have zero tolerance on this. Gays obviously hate their lifestyle and will try to commit suicide by doing this. We will also take this initiative one step farther and punish any violence involving gays. If a gay is brutally beaten and/or drug with a rope behind a pick-up truck, such as my Ford F-150, then the gays will face harsh criminal punishments for putting themselves in a dangerous position that someone would insightfully hurt them…even if they did deserve it.”

Rick Perry then ended the interview, by jumping in his Ford F-150 and said, “Now if you’ll excuse me. I have to make it to Home Depot before their rope sale ends today.”



All photos and content used by Milk the Bull meet all legal and copyright approval. All characters, items and situations on this site, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional.


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All photos and content used by Milk the Bull meet all legal and copyright approval. All characters, stories and situations on this editorial/satire site, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional.
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