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OCCUPY ANCHORAGE TURNING OUT TO BE A REALLY BAD IDEA

Anchorage and snow. Not much else to see here.

ANCHORAGE, AK – Two people have been hospitalized for severe hypothermia as they sit in temperatures below freezing to voice their concerns over Wall Street in downtown Anchorage.

Activist Cheryl McKinley said, “Please let me in your warm news van, please! We’ve seen like four people downtown today. No one notices. It’s an arctic ghost-town…oh god, I can only see a hazy white. Please help.”

When asked about what specific political changes he wanted, protestor Derek Simon replied, “Honestly, I was just trying to get laid man. There’s like 12 girls in Alaska. What else am I going to do? Occupy New York sounded like so much fun but this shit is crazy. There’s snow everywhere…oh god, I can’t feel my feet.”

As Derek and Cheryl were the last two protesting downtown, Derek finally asked Cheryl if she’d like to go out sometime. But Derek was so nervous that he accidentally asked her to ‘join me for ice cream sometime’. Derek remains single while Cheryl is left with three men fighting for her eligibility. One is here second cousin Carl.

All photos and content used by Milk the Bull meet all legal and copyright approval. All characters, items and situations on this site, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional.
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All photos and content used by Milk the Bull meet all legal and copyright approval. All characters, stories and situations on this editorial/satire site, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional.
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