//
you're reading...
comedy, funny, satire, Uncategorized

GEORGE ZIMMERMAN KILLS NEIGHBORHOOD KITTEN

Witnesses report that neighborhood watch volunteer George Zimmerman was polishing his gun collection before he shot and killed what he said to be “a dangerous figure lurking in the bushes.”

Zimmerman said, “Once I saw that the kitten was within 700 yards of my house I realized that my life could be over in any second. If I would have given that kitten just another five years he would have fully grown claws and most likely gone on a terror spree.”

Zimmerman continued, “All I know is that Florida is the greatest American state because it has laws that protect citizens like me and other innocent white Christians like Casey Anthony.”

Police have release the phone record of Zimmerman right before the incident took place:

911 RESPONDENT: 9-1-1 Emergency

ZIMMERMAN: This is George Zimmerman, almighty leader of the Florida neighborhood watch. 

911 RESPONDENT: (sigh)…god, not again…George, are you masturbating to Halo again?

ZIMMERMAN: … 

911 RESPONDENT: …George…

ZIMMERMAN: …uh, nooo… Listen! I heard a rustle in the bushes. It could be burglar, rapist or a person who likes basketball and rap music.

911 RESPONDENT: George, it’s probably your neighbors kitten again. Do NOT go after it. I repeat do NOT cause any more trouble.

ZIMMERMAN: I’ll take that as a direct attack order. White and Latino Power!

[conversation ends]

Advertisements

Discussion

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Subscribe to Milk the Bull

Join 1,007 other followers

Milk the Bull Chooses Third World as #1 in Funny Shirts!

IN THE NEWS

No B.S.

All photos and content used by Milk the Bull meet all legal and copyright approval. All characters, stories and situations on this editorial/satire site, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional.
%d bloggers like this: