WASHINGTON, D.C. — After years of wavering on the issue, President Obama not only decided to back gay marriage, he has vowed that he will enforce all Americans to participate in homosexual relations by the year 2016.
President Obama said, “Here’s the situation, I don’t care if you’re straight, bi-sexual or homosexual. All I’m saying is that everyone should try something new at least once.”
“Don’t worry, there will be benefits to this new plan. We will have a $1,000 tax break for all new same-sex marriages, and even if you decide not to get married we have a $500 rebate for those who make it to third base with those of the same-sex, and an $800 rebate if you go ‘all the way’ ,” said the president as he demonstrated by making scissoring motions with both of his hands colliding into each other.
“Guys kissing other guys will get a $200 tax break, but there will be no rebates for girls kissing other girls. We’ve all been to a sorority party, that’s nothing new to us. We know you’re not really trying.”
The president continued, “This new bill will require everyone to participate in homosexual relations at least once by the year 2014, or they will face a harsh punishment of prison time…where they will definitely be forced to participate.”All photos and content used by Milk the Bull meet all legal and copyright approval. All characters, stories, items and situations on this site, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional.