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comedy, funny, satire

CHICK-FIL-A PRESIDENT REALLY LIKES COCK

Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy, told Baptist Press that the chain is “guilty as charged” in supporting the biblical definition of family. He then followed that statement with, “I’d really like to put my cock in your mouth…of course by cock I mean our new Chargrilled Chicken Sandwich, not my actual dick.”

When asked about why he is speaking about political issues that he’s never studied, Mr. Cathy replied, “As a man who knows just about everything there is to know about chicken, I thought it would be time for me to voice my opinion on dynamical, long-term, sexual relationships, because of course they go hand in hand.

“If you know about chicken, you basically know about anything in the world. Knowing about chicken is pretty much an equivalent to having a PhD in Human Behavioral and Analytic Studies. I mean, chicken ain’t easy. That’s why I am smart.” said Mr. Cathy as he twiddles a purple crayon in his hand.

Mr. Cathy continued, “Every time I visit one of our chicken ranches or even think about a chicken nugget I get intimate and vivid images of two guys having hardcore anal sex. They’re usually black guys for some reason. And they’re…you know, just really giving it to each other. Licking each other up and down. I imagine that Sade is playing in the background with some candles lit. And then, I pause for a moment and I think about how that’s wrong. So I’m definitely against gay marriage and anything else that any book that’s older then modern research.”

“But serious though, I really, really don’t think about putting my cock inside guys’ mouth’s all the time. I just think about the chicken, not real cocks…not real cocks,” said Mr. Cathy.

All photos and content used by Milk the Bull meet all legal and copyright approval. All characters, stories, items and situations on this site, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional.
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All photos and content used by Milk the Bull meet all legal and copyright approval. All characters, stories and situations on this editorial/satire site, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional.
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