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comedy, funny, satire

JOHNNY DEPP PRACTICES EXTREME METHOD ACTING BY GETTING 30 YEARS IN PRISON FOR HEROIN

Los Angeles police reported that Mr. Depp was found buying $4.5 million worth of heroin with plans to sell all of it near Richmond Avenue Elementary School.

“It was to be my finest piece ever, my character is a tortured soul who spends 30 years of his life withering away in jail only to be freed and find his true self again,” said Johnny Depp into his telephone behind a bullet-proof case in Los Angeles County Prison.

Johnny continued, “The police played right into my hands. Sentenced for 30 years! Exactly as I had planned! I definitely have total control of this situation…I mean, I didn’t expect this much anal raping, but other than that all is well.”

“After my drug-dealing character in ‘Blow’ I realized that I would be a fool to think I could spend only one night in prison to get inside this character’s head. I must do the real thing!” said Johnny.

“So a few million dollars of heroin, which is about a month’s worth of work, and while I’m at it I thought, ‘Hey why not sell to under-aged children?’…and guess what?” said Johnny as he leaned in closer to whisper, “It worked.”

Johnny was then handed a letter by the security guard. It was from his agent. “Bloody hell…” said Johnny after opening the letter, “The filming is supposed to start next week. How am I supposed to get out of here?”

After a few seconds of silence Johnny said, “…you don’t suppose they’ll believe that I was an under-cover cop posing as a high school student to help stop crime, do you?”

All photos and content used by Milk the Bull meet all legal and copyright approval. All characters, stories, items and situations on this site, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional.
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All photos and content used by Milk the Bull meet all legal and copyright approval. All characters, stories and situations on this editorial/satire site, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional.
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