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After multiple incidents, including slapping a Target employee, getting into bar fights, and suspicion of felony child endangerment, Katt Williams built a time machine in order to find new places to make a complete ass out of himself.

“The magnificent Katt Williams has blessed this time with his pimp-a-licious style and swagger,” said Katt Williams, “Katt Williams must now travel through time and pimp-slap the fuck out of history.”

Katt’s first stop was to Ford’s Theatre where he proceeded to steal the gun from John Wilkes Booth and “shoot his pathetic racist ass for wearing such atrocious attire that a pimp would never be caught dead in”. Then Katt pimp-slapped President Abraham Lincoln and told him, “Thanks for freeing the slaves and all, but your bearded ass deserves to be shot for marrying such an ugly woman. Aren’t their some big-tittied bitches that you could get yourself involved with? …pathetic.”

Katt then proceeded to shoot Lincoln in the back of his “god-damn, no-good, mother-fucking, pasty-ass head.”

Katt Williams also traveled into time and told Ghandi “This ain’t a protest. Just sitting here on your lazy ass. You best eat some mother-fucking soul food or some shit you four-eyed, anorexic bitch.”

Katt then went further back in time and told Jesus “You gay as hell, I mean, nothing wrong with gay people. It’s just that if Katt Wiliams were the son of God, then Katt Williams would be fucking more bitches that’s all.” Katt Williams then stole some red wine, drank half of the bottle and threw it at Mary for “being a lying-ass bitch about the whole virginity thing.”

Katt then went into the Sistine Chapel and told Michelangelo, “Your paintings ain’t shit because they lack the necessary amount of titties and ass. And if you’re gonna give David a dick at least make it a pimp’s dick. Katt Williams wouldn’t be able to fuck a midget with that dick. And believe me, Katt Williams has fucked a lot of midgets in his day.”

Katt Williams then went back into time where nutrition was scarce and people where much shorter. He then began to fuck as many midgets as possible.



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