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MADDEN NFL 13 PREDICTS RAY LEWIS WITH SEXUAL ASSAULT

Ray-Lewis

The most successful video game in football history, Madden NFL 2013 predicts that Ravens Linebacker Ray Lewis has an 94% chance of sexually assaulting a woman at the Super Bowl XLVII weekend.

In a simulated replay Madden NFL 13 shows Lewis at a nightclub dancing to Big Sean’s “Dance Ass” with a young woman. The simulation then shows Lewis reacting angrily once the girl reveals that she’s 17 years old. One of Lewis’ friends and another club goer try to settle Lewis down, but Lewis then lifts the club goer into the air and does a “Back Breaker” move, which can be achieved in the game with the right trigger button held down with both A and B buttons pressed repeatedly.

This simulation then shows that Lewis is put on the video game’s inactive list for sexual assault. Which is the second highest reason that NFL players are inactive after knee injuries, and just one ranking higher then brain trauma.

“This game has successfully predicted six of the last eight Superbowl champion,” said Super Bowl commentator Bob Costas, “And think about it, do you really think a 250 pound linebacker who cries that often is really a stable guy? It’s gonna happen, and boy is it going to be a thrill to watch!”

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