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basketball, comedy, funny, satire, sports, Uncategorized

DERRICK ROSE TO PLAY…PENDING ON IF THERE IS A CHANCE OF RAIN

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Matt Lauer of the Today Show asked NBA All-Star Derrick Rose “If you return, what kind of offense can we expect the Bulls to run?”

Rose replied, “The bigger question is, what is our exact purpose here on earth Matt? Why do we feel no remorse when we step on a worm in the rain? Does life exist on another planet? And if so, what god do they worship? And why is Gordan Ramsey always yelling at people? I bet it’s because he was never loved as a child.”

“I’m not quite sure what you are talking about Derrick,” said Lauer, “We really just want to know if you will return to basketball since the doctors cleared you months ago.”

“My body is more than 100% ready,” said Rose, “However as I watched a romantic comedy last night I started questioning life. If it is a sunny day tomorrow I might feel a new sense of fullness and then I will play. However, if there is rain, even though I am one of the fiercest athletes on the planet, it will lead me to wonder, what am I even doing here? Why do birds fly even though they will eventually die?”

“I’m telling you Matt,” said Rose, “You need to watch Silver Linings Playbook. Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper are the perfect pairing that will change your life forever.”

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