After using the “N-word” to berate her employees, and publicly speaking about a plantation-themed party, Paula Dean has alienated millions of people across America. Luckily, she’s a hit with the fat, racist demographic.
“There are millions of people across America who feel left out because we love hating [explicit]’s, [explicit]’s and other [explicit]’s who are tearing this country down,” said long-time racist Jeffery Downs.
“Paula Dean has shown us that it’s okay to be extremely over-weight and hate minorities at the same time. If that’s not American then I don’t know what is,” said Mr. Downs as he salutes his American flag which was made in China.
“I’m so lucky…I guess there still is a place in America for a rich white girl,” said Paula Dean as she tours promoting her new cookbook ‘How to Cook Chicken Like a [explicit]’.
Book sales are flourishing so far. Also, the publisher has decided that the original 534 page book was too long for some people to read, so they edited out every use of the N-word, which cut the book down to only 54 pages.
“It’s a nice easy read for anyone who loves food, has probably had a hear-attack or two, and hates [explicit]’s as much as I do,” said Paula.
“What’s that? …oh thank you for the compliment! This isn’t actually lipstick at all. This glossy stuff on my lips is from sucking on a stick of butter. Gotta have something to hold me over before second dinner.”