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This past weekend, police in Indianapolis were called to a farmer’s market to quell the verbal violence taking place between local Christians and local Hipsters. The argument was initiated by Herbert Goodman, a born-again Christian, who overheard a Hipster condemning a passerby for not stopping at the market for some fresh local goods.

When contacted, Mr. Goodman told Milk the Bull, “When I heard that dirty hipster yell at that woman, the Holy Spirit raged in me and I had to say something! It is not his place to tell her how to live her life! It’s mine!” The hipster in question is Travis Hoffman, a frequent shopper at the farmer’s market.

In a statement obtained by Milk the Bull, Travis told police, “I don’t know why Mr. Goodman verbally attacked me as I was minding my own business. If there’s two things I can’t stand, it’s people butting into my business, and people not living their lives exactly as I do. You know, buying local shit, having a ridiculous moustache, listening to obscure bands even though I don’t like them, and so on.”


More as this story develops…



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