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HIGH SCHOOL PHENOM SKIPS COLLEGE TO GO STRAIGHT TO NBA INJURY LIST

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“Sure, I could play it safe and go to college, but why sprain an ankle in the NCAA when I have the potential to tear an ACL on a global stage,” said number one ranked high school player Jahlil Okafor.
Okafor said he looks forward to going to the NBA, and more importantly getting picked by a team that knows how to put other amazing players on the injured reserve list next to him.
“My first thought is that I could be on an injured reserve list right next to my favorite player Derrick Rose on the Chicago Bulls, but then there’s also the possibility of getting recruited by the Lakers or the Clippers out in L.A. Just imagine an NBA playoff game, the arena is packed with tens of thousands of people, there’s only 3 seconds left on the clock. And there I am…sitting on the sidelines in a really nice suit next to Kobe Bryant or Chris Paul talking about our favorite types of icing methods.”
“A lot of times people go with the ice baths, and other people going with compression ice,” said Okafor, “I’m going to turn the NBA world on its head and do compression ice WHILE in and ice bath. ESPN will have their top ten with Blake Griffin doing a 360 windmill, then…at number one, they’ll show me in the training room chillaxin’ in an ice-tub drinking a mai-tai topped off with some Gatorade. Bitches will be pounding at my door waiting to give me a medical massage. I can’t wait!”
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