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comedy, entertainment, food, funny, satire, Uncategorized

UNEMPLOYED MAN FANCIES HIMSELF A WRITER

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Unemployed Man Fancies Himself a Writer
Arnold Foust already has new career in mind. “I was just responding to some e-mails and drinking coffee when I realized that I had a passion for writing, so now I’m a writer,” the former office manager proclaimed between sips of coffee. “Most days I start by brewing a pot of coffee, that’s the one thing, other than writing, that I got really good at. Most days I finish this pot and head down to the local Starbucks so I can concentrate on my work while enjoying a nice latte, my coffee maker just isn’t equipped for making that sort of thing.”

At 37 years old, Arnold is just one of a dozen employees recently laid off from SweatCo. He proudly stated, “at least seven of my coworkers have also taken up writing, but they’ve mostly been working on books or screenplays; I’m focusing pretty heavily on writing sports satire.” Arnold pauses and looks out of the window and lets loose a heavy sigh before continuing, “I came up with a really awesome World Cup headline but couldn’t get the body of the article fleshed out, sports satire is a very topical genre. I’ve been toying with a headline for LeBron’s free agency – ‘King of Free Agency’ or something like that, I’ll probably work on it more this afternoon at Starbucks.”

After three weeks of unemployment Foust has yet to complete any writing but he is excited about his prospects, “writing is like any art form, you have to embrace the artist’s lifestyle to get good at it. I’m attending a slam poetry reading tonight and a couple open mic sessions this week at a few of the local coffee shops around town; their coffee isn’t as good as Starbucks, but I like the casual atmosphere, it’s like there isn’t any real pressure to be anything,” Arnold states.

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