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BRIAN WILLIAMS’ HARROWING ACCOUNT OF BEING CAUGHT IN LIE ABOUT HARROWING ACCOUNT IN IRAQ

Brian Williams Ptyeradactyl

Longtime NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams has been under scrutiny recently for his embellishment of a story in which the helicopter he was riding in was shot down in Iraq.  Now, Mr. Williams spoke exclusively with Milk the Bull about how his trumped up story was first uncovered.

“I was in the staff lounge at NBC talking to Jimmy (Fallon), and he told me our night manager Steve was looking for me.  And I was like ‘what for?’ and he said he didn’t know why, but Steve seemed pissed. And then Steve busted down through a ceiling tile, guns blazing. So I looked around to see what I could use to protect myself.  Steve fired shots, and before I could think I jumped in front of Jimmy to protect him.  The shots hit my chest as I flew through the air, but I had jumped too far because I broke through the window of the 34th floor of 30 Rock.  As I was falling, a pterodactyl swooped down and I landed on his back.  But as we were flying through the air, the pterodactyl hit a goose and we had to ditch in the Hudson River.  A Vietnam era swiftboat arrived quickly to rescue me, but the captain was Steve–he was there to find out the truth about the Iraq helicopter business.”

MTB spoke with paleontologists and confirmed that pterodactyls haven’t existed for quite some time.  This was also confirmed by a retarded man we ran into on the street.

“Steve finally arrived and lassoed me onto the boat.  He asked me about the Iraq helicopter story, and I told him ‘YOLO’.  Then I ate a can of spinach and busted out of the lasso. And then Bill Cosby raped me.”

MTB finds his story unrealistic, and after giving him the Larry David dubious look, we concluded the interview. More as the story develops.  

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All photos and content used by Milk the Bull meet all legal and copyright approval. All characters, stories and situations on this editorial/satire site, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional.
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